tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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