i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
