My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
