in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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