Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
