Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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