Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
