She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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