o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
