wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
