That's when you crack a 10am beer
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
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He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
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Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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