He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you inspire me to be a worse person
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize