I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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