My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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