one two three fourrrrnication!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
