I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She told me I should be a condom model.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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