ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
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No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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