apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
