your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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