you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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