Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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