so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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