Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize