I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
