I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize