im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize