If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
