So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize