there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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