THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize