i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No...this little piggys going to the bar
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
