Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
