I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
