question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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