More tranny stories later!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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