god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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