wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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