Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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