So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
