my mouth tastes like poor choices
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
