biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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