I just saw a hot homeless man
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
