I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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