i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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