i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize