Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
COCAINE IS GR8
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
