I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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