So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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