why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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