if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The Olympian is in my bed
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