I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
