zippers are such a cool invention
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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