I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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