Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
