Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize