i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
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I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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