She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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