I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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