See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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