My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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